Pieces of Penelope (1984, 18 years old)

June 30, 2009

During 1984 and '85, I wrote less in my journal, and instead focused on writing poetry. As I noted in the the introduction to the Aberration Nation Teen Event, don't expect award winning writing--only honesty.

In January of 1984, I graduated from high school early and started college in my hometown, Shreveport, Louisiana. That summer one of my best childhood friends was killed in a car accident along with two others from my high school. When my novel, Boundaries, is published, it will be dedicated to my dear friend, Virginia Anne Reeves (1966 - 1984). Although it was a slow process, her tragic death ultimately influenced my life in a positive way.





Her shattered heart wears a smile,
And looks beyond the lies,
He unlocked the mind of her.

***

Disappointment is my closest friend,
Each little dream that falls apart,
Each time a crack forms in my heart,
She appears so vividly,
Disappointment with her melancholy smile.

So many visions have passed me by,
All they gave were tears to cry,
Life to me, a mystery,
Illusive clues lurk in my mind,
Their tool, the imagination.

As images grow into clear reality,
Disappointment comes to rescue me,
The me I gave,
The ends I seek,
Broken, battered children
weeping at my feet.

***

Cold breezes,
Chill my heart,
In the night,
The bitter fight,
Rages on.

Summer day,
All the way,
Time erases,
All the pain,
I feel.

***

Renegade lover,
Stand still for me,
My shattered heart wears a smile
And looks beyond the lies.

Someday I'll be your secret friend,
I'll know your dreams,
I'll feel your sorrows,
Sweet, sweet lover till the bitter end.

***

Tiny dancer in my soul,
It's time to live,
It's time for me,
Regretful smile lurk in my mind,
I wonder if they'll fade in time.

***

On lonely days I miss your smile,
I miss your condescending style,
I miss your cruelty,
I miss your scorn,
For what we lost,
I'll always mourn.

On lonely nights I miss your voice,
I miss the way I had no choice,
I miss your smirk,
I miss your singing,
Echos of my recent past,
In my heart,
Forever ringing.

***

Shadows plunge the light away,
The color dulls,
All I have is what I am inside,
Attempting to recall the used to bes,
How I loved,
How I hated.

Void of you my heart is clean,
Now remembering is empty,
Like you.

I see and feel the final truth,
You were once my reality,
You are the lie I lived.

***

A space in time,
A place that's mine,
Yet not mine,
I give to you this,
Awakening,
Building,
Brightening dream,
On I fight against the current,
Fighting now just for me,
One day I'll fight for you.

***

Eyes meet,
Souls collide,
Lips touch,
Fears subside.

Hands touch,
Dreams mingle,
Hopes rise,
Two now single.

***

One teardrop fell from my eyes,
It fell beneath a thundering sky,
Falling with it were my dreams,
In that one tear,
A thousand things,
All died.

Love to me was all my dreams
Of what I felt love should be,
Storybook endings and preconceived notions,
Forever in place,
Never in motion.

I made a vow inside myself
That I would put love on the shelf,
Never again would this heart break,
There is so much my heart can take.

Lying here,
Being still,
I'm trying to say
Just how I feel.

There is a dream you're reaching for,
You own a dream that's coming true,
If I could only make you see,
I'm reaching out for my dream, too.

Slow dancing with me in your dark,
Your laughter talks straight to my heart,
Happy smiles that pierce the night,
Could it be,
It's finally right.

Confusion tangos with my heart,
Cobwebs creeping through my dark,
Is this a dream or is it real,
Is this the way true love
Should feel?

***

Building bridges,
Running across,
Changing the truth,
Compensating loss.

Saying they care,
Building bridges,
Running across,
Fraying the ridges.

Running across,
Leaving me behind,
Saying they care,
Playing with my mind.

Changing the truth,
Causing me pain,
Learning to build,
I'll do the same.

Comments

Anonymous

Anonymous said:

Really appreciate this poem. I lost my best friend of 17 years in 2006. Seems like yesterday. Thank God for the good memories that belong to us forever.

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